“Can you hear her crying?” the anaesthesiologist asked.
“She’s here! Congratulations!”
Unlike the movies this time, I was not able to see her right after they got her out of me. She was taken away to have the APGAR test and be cleaned, while I was getting stitched for the following 30 minutes.
I was glad that my anaesthesiologist had stayed with me during the whole surgery and explained everything that was going on and supported me emotionally.
To back up a little, here I was on the operating table: IV in my arm, various monitors in place around me-to keep an eye on my heart rate, breathing and blood pressure- arms strapped down to the table, and a privacy sheet between me and the doctors -all while still wearing an FFP2 mask, mind you.
Tawa was right next to me, and I could see the excitement in his eyes.
Believe it or not, the OR was such a peaceful place to be in in that moment.
The bright lights were not tiresome, the doctors friendly, the midwives helpful, and the mood? As good as it gets. I was so excited.
I knew in that moment that I was going to see my daughter soon.
“My daughter!”, I thought. I had 8 months of pregnancy to get used to that term, to the idea, to motherhood being my reality, and yet I could not believe this was really happening! I was so excited.
During all the tugging and pulling, Thea was born, my placenta was pulled out, and soon enough I was ready to be stitched up.
After giving me these updates, the anaesthesiologist knew I was worried about a lot of blood loss so she also reassured me that I had less than average blood loss. Yay.
However, *surprise surprise* I wasn’t that reassured, because then I got worried about a postpartum haemorrhage. A piece of placenta that gets left behind and causes me an infection. So many thoughts. Oh how wild my brain went. “It’s what you get for getting informed about a surgery beforehand and reading too much about it. Is ignorance a bliss?” I thought.
Before I knew it though, I was in my room with Thea on my chest.
Let me tell you, the moment they gave her to me, all the pain in the world felt it could wait and all the worries and all the anxiousness of the c-section somehow disappeared as I gazed into her beautiful eyes. She had such a small face – as all premature babies do- and it was such a familiar face, Tawa and I agreed.
It was like looking at the both of us at once.
For 8 months I thought “I can’t wait to meet this stranger, I wonder what she looks like”.
I finally knew the answer to that. She looks like home, and we are always going to be hers.
Thea was born 2210g and 47cm, with thick brown hair, beautiful round eyes and stole our hearts in a second.
A few days later she got jaundice, but that’s a story for another time.
Cheers to a new chapter, cheers to you Thea. May you always be healthy and happy and grow to be a smart and successful woman surrounded by people who love you a love you truly deserve.
*raises bottle of milk to toast*